Working and Being Mum, Wife, Housekeeper, Cheif Cook etc.

Now here's a subject close to womens hearts and highly emotive.

Now I'm a pretty old fashioned kind of gal and have always enjoyed staying at home looking after the kids and generally keeping house. I appreciate that I am in a very enviable position to be a ble to afford to. Before hubby and I married we discussed and agreed that my role would be as homemaker and his would be breadwinner. That's not to say that he is against me working but only as long as it isn't to the deteriment of the home, the kids and his self. He runs his own very busy business and works ridiculously long hours so he can't be expected to come home and start looking after the kids and doing housework. Seeing it written down here makes it sound very out dated but maybe I'm not very good at describing it. Any way it works for us though I appreciate it would be a lot of womens worst nightmare.

I've loved being at home with the kids and doing the mum and toddler circuit making new friends and doing all things 'mummy' Of course that's not to say I haven't had moments when I've wanted to run for the hills. In fact I have those moments about, hmmm lets see, once a month! But on the whole I wouldn't have it any other way.

So here lies the problem. I started my little business venture www.flossybots.co.uk more as a hobby than anything else just over a year ago. All that was involved to start with was going to peoples (mainly friends to start with) homes for a couple of hours once a week to show them some eco friendly, natural products that were generally little known ie mooncups, eco balls and crystal deodorants(see below) and that sort of thing and then take orders. It meant it got me out of the house for a bit and if I made a bit of pin money then that was a bonus. Well it grew from there really and I have gained a reputation as the local 'eco lady'. In response to customer feedback I launched a website (with hubbys help and money) to make reordering simple, though in truth most people still ring or text me with orders, and I expanded my range and invested some money into keeping many products as stock. I also have a couple of good friends who share my passion for greener households who do parties as well. I've been shown talking about mooncups at an eco party on the series 'It's not easy bein green' albeit fleetingly and do at least one party a week. All in all it's all become very time consuming and as a consequence my youngest is with a childminder for 4hrs on tuesdays and preschool two afternoons a week which makes me feel guilty and when I am with the kids I'm often trying to do too many things at the same time which makes me distracted and bad tempered with them (more guilt). I've been foul to my hubby lately (but that's another story). So basically I'm doing too much but don't know how to manage my time more effectively so that my time with the kids is enjoyable and less stressfull. A big part of me wishes I hadn't started the business till they were all school age. I love the fact that the business has taken off but also a bit resentful that it's success is at a cost to my kids happiness (probably a bit overdramatic but you get my point)

So in summing up I really don't know how working mums cope and they have my utmost admiration. The mums I feel desperately sorry for are the ones who have to go to work either because they are on their own or because their partners don't earn enouth to keep the family. My friend who is mentioned regulary on here (I do have more than just one friend, honest) has just returned to her job as a dental hygienist and relt so guilty after her first day back that the next day she treated all the kids to pancackes and chocolate sauce and Mc Donalds!

Freecycle Hamster

This is the hamster we got from freecycle. He came to us as 'Dillon' but has been renamed 'Shufflebum Nibbles'. Wow a hamster with a double baralled name, posh or what?
He has to be my best thing from freecycle ever!! The kids adore him and he is so tame. You'll have to tilt your head sideways to get the full effect. I couldn't rotate the photo!

Technology - Blessing or Curse?

My blasted computer has a virus that hubby just can't get rid of (yes we have virus checkers etc) but this virus appears to be indestructable. He's been trying to kill it on and off for the whole of the bank holiday weekend. So I can't go onto my bank account details or paypal etc whilst it's coursing it's way through my pc. Grrrr!
Over the weekend I added a youtube thingy to my home page and now I can't get rid of it despite hours of trying and I've also tried to change it to a different clip that involves kids or animals doing funny things rather than CARS but I can't do that either.
I consider myself to be moderately computer literate but sometimes I wonder why I bother trying to do these things.
I'm on a bit of a downer lately which I'm sure shows in my posts but just be thankful you don't live with me at the moment. In the midst of my self indulgent and completely unjustified misery I heard of a lady who's just found out her 14yr old daughter has cancer. It certainly bought my own grumps into perspective.

And all this on our doorstep.

I live on the coast between the New Forest and the Jurassic Coast. I am surrounded by beautiful countryside, historic buildings, award winning blue flag beaches and quaint villages. So why do I spend money taking the kids to indoor play areas, extortionately priced 'tourist' attractions and the like?

My younger kids are at the age where they love a walk in the countryside as much as a play area.

When I was a child (if I can remember back that far) my dad and stepmum used to take my sister and I out for the day with a picnic. They always took us for great walks in the forest or to little coves with rock pools. We'd collect fircones or shells and that sort of thing. I remember how I loved those sunday walks and they never cost my dad a penny, except maybe an ice cream or two.

I really wish I could recreate those days with my own kids if that makes sense.

So if this were New Year my resolution would be to make the most of the natural beauty around me and teach my children to appreciate and value the natural beauty on their doorstep.

Ethical Spring Clean

Yesterday I had a mega spring clean and was mega ruthless. We simply have too much 'stuff' and it's impossible to keep the place tidy and presentable. I have a friend who even though she has three kids manages to have a minimalist home and it always looks tidy (you know who you are ; ) friend!)

So I bagged two binbags up for the charity shop and two huge bags were put on http://groups.yahoo.com/group/poole-freecycle/

I love the freecycle sites. I used to sell the kids clothes on ebay when they'd grown out of them especially my little girls outfits which were always so pretty but now it all goes on freecycle. There is also another group just for kids stuff at http://uk.groups.yahoo.com/group/Playitagainsam/?yguid=217013630

It really makes me feel good to be a part of these groups and to give stuff away on it. It's also worth mentioning that we have received some pretty cool stuff in the past including a sofa bed, large Ikea rug, huge rotary washing line, windbreaker and kids clothes.

Changing Times

Just lately I've been feeling a bit sad that our fab group of mums and babies that have been meeting at least once a week (at one stage three times a week) for the last four nearly five years is gradually disbanding. It started when our little ones who we met through started school in September. Even though most of us still have little ones home with us in the day you just find yourself less inclined to submerge yourself in the mum and toddler group circuit and the day gets filled up so quickly between the time you drop off at school until you pick up.
I know it's a natural progression and part of me enjoys having a life away from total babydom and of course I'm pleased that the business is steadly growing and yet another part of me hankers for the days filled with baby groups, swing parks, coffee mornings, endless rounds of nursery rhymes, lounging around in my dressing gown till lunchtime and watching trashy daytime tv. I miss nursing a little baby and having to sit down and rest to do it while enjoying a cup of tea and biscuit or ten! It feels so sad that I'll never have those days back. At the time you think it will go on forever and curse the sleepless nights, endless feeds, baby sick down your back and not being able to hold a onversation that doesn't involve the contents of your babys nappy or suitable first weaning foods.
I remember crying when my eldest who's almost 16yrs started school because it was the end of an era and I had no other kids at home with me to take my mind off the void I felt. How on earth will I cope when my smallest and last baby starts school.
I wonder if other mums feel the same way or if they can't wait to get out of the 'baby days'.
Maybe I should buy a puppy.

Poorly Boy Miraculous Recovery

You'd never believe that this time last week he was laying in a hospital bed hooked up to a drip and feeling decidedly sorry for himself. So where do you think he is now? Possibly you might think he's resting in his room or you might consider that he's catching up with all the school work he missed in the last couple of weeks or maybe even revising for the french oral GCSE that he missed and is taking next friday. Well not a bit of it! He's down the town with all his mates as if he's never had a days illness in his life. Children/adolescents have always amazed me with their amazing ability to bounce back from serious illness. If only I had the same sort of recovery rate. I am still suffering from the shock of him being carted off in an ambulance and the sheer exhaustion of trekking backwards and forwards to visit him in the hospital and then once he was home running around playing nursemaid and general skivvy. I need a holiday!
Hubby is away at Brands Hatch for the weekend and sleeping on a mattress in his van which he informed me was very cosy and comfortable to which I suggested that maybe he'd like to sleep in it permanantly! I dont like being on my own with the kids at the weekend. I live for the weekend and a change of routine with a bit of help with the kids.
I've just been reading some blogs by likeminded people who are trying to live a 'greener' and documenting their experiences and I was horrified at some of the tones of the comments from readers about the fact that the poster was trying alternatives in her dishwasher along the lines of 'call yourself green, why have you got a dishwasher?' only ruder. It really made me cross especially as research points out that it is more 'green' to use a dishwasher fully loaded than washing by hand. http://www.treehugger.com/files/2005/08/dishwasher_vs_h.php
I really hate the way that if you are making an effort to go green everything you do is scrutinised by some people and you are expected to do everything absolutely perfectly and to know everything that you can't possibly know without years of research and too much time on your hands. The green zealots are simply turning people off by condemning peoples efforts. I'll get off my soap box now.

FAIR TRADE ECO FRIENDLY PARTY BAGS
On a lighter note one of the ladies (Ellie) at a mum and toddler group I go to has launched a range of fair trade eco friendly party bags for kids. http://stores.ebay.co.uk/Earth-Mother-Party-Bags It's a super idea and I wish her all the best with her new venture. She has given me some samples and business cards to take to my eco parties to promote the bags.